Starting Your Gender Journey

You don’t feel comfortable in your body anymore. You can feel yourself moving out of your gender assigned at birth into something new, but you’re afraid to take the leap. It’s as if you’re in a play you didn’t audition for, forced to wear a costume that doesn’t fit. Your costume - your gender assigned at birth –  is slowly sucking the life out of you. You’re stuck in a costume that just isn’t “you.”

You feel deeply uncomfortable when people engage or flirt with you while you’re out in the world in your costume. They make painful assumptions about who you are based on your assumed gender. You wonder if it would feel better if people could see you out of costume. You might have even tried on some different gender expressions, but then stepped back out of fear of others’ reactions or after someone punished you for trying on something new. Maybe you step back because you’re not sure if you want to be on this journey at all. You feel uncertain, if you did decide to start this journey, of what steps would feel like “enough,” “too much,” or “too little” in your transition. Would it be enough to try new clothing? Would you want to start hormone therapy? There are so many options. It feels intimidating to begin to explore them.

You feel afraid because the costs of transitioning – of shedding your costume – are high. You may be concerned that no one will find you attractive if you transition. You’re unsure or fearful of the potential reaction from friends, colleagues, partners, and family members. You worry that coming out might elicit harsh criticism, “jokes,” discrimination, or rejection. You fear that people you love won’t understand your gender journey and won’t want to learn about who you are becoming – even if that person isn’t so different from who you have been. This version of you isn’t right for you anymore, but how do you find out who you are becoming without the risk of losing it all?

I Can Help

I’m Dr. Marussia Role (they/them), a psychologist and non-binary person who specializes in supporting people on their gender journeys. I help trans and/or non-binary folks have a space to shed their costumes, feel heard, learn about their gender identity (or identities), gently hold the potential for losses, and make tough decisions about coming out. I can support you in navigating systemic oppression as well as in savoring exciting, beautiful, and connecting moments in your gender journey. I will adjust to your pace in your gender journey because, frankly, I haven’t seen two gender journeys that looked the same. I like to mix gentleness, humor (“dad jokes” aplenty), and a deep trust of your self-knowledge into our work. Together, we can make your gender journey feel a little less scary.

Contact me for a free therapy consultation

If you want to invite me onto your gender journey, I’d be thrilled to hear from you. I offer a free, 15 minute consultation to discuss what you hope to gain from therapy and to tell you more about what I can offer you. You can reach out to me through the Contact form so we can get started. I look forward to helping you find some gentler times ahead.